Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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