I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
