ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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