If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
