marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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