I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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