apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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