So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
