you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
