hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
