i don't like sucking hair
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
