her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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