'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
