hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
