Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
