So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
