I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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