But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
