with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
