i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
