What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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