I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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