Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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