I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
