the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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