I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
