mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
even my farts smell like vagina
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
