I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
