Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
