I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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