I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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