Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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