he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
