What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
