If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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