walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
