I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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