there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
