ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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