Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
