He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
