I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
