hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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