I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
