im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
