No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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