I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
