how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
