my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
