don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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