I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
