that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
